"I'm Starting" by Stephanie Hutchins

I’m starting to repeat some good habits, healthy habits.

It’s hard to think, so many thoughts, can’t grab. I feel that now, before I couldn’t see it, grabbing thoughts from my bubble, I’m so behind but I’m a good sprinter.

Not all days can be good days, enjoy the moment.

Everything is adding up, I can use my own words, again. It was too much, I didn’t know how to speak. I had to realize who I was, my mannerisms, my personality.

This walk, I have to keep going without needing to talk to my parents, I’m just scared to be on my own.

Facing my fear and doing the work.

I see the moguls, I’m ready, I’ll make it to the bottom.

Keep this mentality up, you’re doing great.

I’m sorry my left seems easier but it hasn’t felt that way. I’ve had support though and I’m sorry you didn’t have that. Everyone deserves that.

I want to call Dad. I miss talking to him. I don’t know what to say a lot.

I’m figuring out my true feelings and what they mean and what I want to say or do or why it’s hard to let the words even flow.

What does being a feminist mean to me.

Feelings pass, keep going.

Smoke, go for a walk, meditate, listen to music, try not to call people.

Weed needs to be consistent like medication.

I can enjoy alone time. My walks at gram’s house, remember that, you needed those breaks.

No man has all the answers, I do, it’s my journey and life.