"I Couldn't Hide It" by Desiree

I couldn’t hide it anymore. I masked up for so long. I painted on makeup. I stitched a smile onto my face so that I wouldn’t bring anyone down if they saw the tears welling in my eyes. I pushed through all of my feelings and poured myself into school and work for as long as I’ve known. I stayed busy so that I couldn’t feel. So that I didn’t have any time to sit in silence and let the reality set in. To let the overwhelm take over and take me under. To chug another coffee to hide my exhaustion from decades of playing this game. Of fighting these battles. Of surviving but not living. I was tired, and not in the way a good night’s sleep could fix. Or that a vacation could even rebound me. I was drained from all of the angles, and I just couldn’t hide it anymore.