"I Had More Than One Option" by Jackie Joy

I had more than one option. I could hide in my addiction or I could get help. Asking for help never came easy for me. But I leaned into recovery and slowly discovered that surrendering to not knowing how to live without drugs and alcohol was the easier softer way. Asking others how they did it gave me strength. It was the path of least resistance. It allowed me to embrace my humanity. It allowed me to drop the facade of perfectionism.

It’s still hard for me to ask for help sometimes, but when I’m able to reflect on my early days in recovery, I’m reminded that asking for help gave me my life back. Sometimes, like tonight, I ask my partner to help talk me off the ledge. We talk, and I feel peace. When I stuff the feelings, I feel rage.

The easier softer way is still asking for help. It no longer feels scary. It helps me when I help others. It must help others when I let them help me too.